- 5:20 PM henryjz – waiting for the session to begin
- 5:32 PM henryjz – and we start!
- 5:32 PM henryjz – jackie asking why we think this age group is important
- 5:35 PM henryjz – jackie loves this age group 🙂
- 5:35 PM henryjz – i’d hope so 🙂
- 5:35 PM henryjz – have you googled early adolescents?
- 5:36 PM henryjz – here are words that come up: more change, more independence, more concern about body image, complex thoughts, etc.
- 5:37 PM henryjz – for this session, pre adolescence is going to be defined as grades 4-6
- 5:38 PM henryjz – jackie’s email addy: email@example.com
- 5:39 PM henryjz – jackie is having us write down some names of real kids we’re thinking of
- 5:39 PM henryjz – 1. Relate
- 5:39 PM henryjz – Questions: Who are these early adolescents? What do they know and feel? What have they learned from the world or their experiences? What do they need to develop to relate to us?
- 5:42 PM henryjz – watching a video of interview of teacher and a couple of his students
- 5:43 PM henryjz – four observations from video
- 5:43 PM henryjz – they know, they want, they can and they will
- 5:44 PM henryjz – a. they know – they know a lot of info… they’ve got access to it all… some students now know more than some adults do
- 5:44 PM henryjz – they know real from fake
- 5:45 PM henryjz – they can see a fake approach easily… good judges of character
- 5:45 PM henryjz – b. they want – they want A LOT! they have access to all this info, so they want more stuff
- 5:46 PM henryjz – it’s not totally their fault for wanting those things… culture is greedy and dictates that value to them
- 5:47 PM henryjz – Key 1 to relating – Developing trust with others, God, family, peers
- 5:47 PM henryjz – need to develop safety: emotional, physical, spiritual and relational
- 5:49 PM henryjz – give them a place to wrestle with hard issues
- 5:51 PM henryjz –
- 5:53 PM henryjz – Back to the Basics of Developing Trust: Empathy, Listening Well, Asking great questions
- 5:53 PM henryjz – handing out a tool called the empathy wheel
- 5:56 PM henryjz –
- 5:56 PM henryjz – KEY #2: Developing trust within themselves
- 5:56 PM henryjz – go through the wheel to help student identify how they feel
- 5:57 PM henryjz – example: cheating on a test
- 5:58 PM henryjz – fact-what do they know? there’s a test; haven’t studied; know that it’s wrong to cheat; might get in trouble for doing poorly on test; etc.
- 5:58 PM henryjz – needs? pass the test, not get caught, etc.
- 5:59 PM henryjz – thoughts? maybe not much other than i need to pass
- 5:59 PM henryjz – feelings? scared, etc.
- 5:59 PM henryjz – actions? we don’t have much control over their actions, they will choose what to do
- 6:01 PM henryjz – be patient if you go through this because some might not know what a feeling is
- 6:02 PM henryjz – KEY #3: Know how early adolescents relate to others
- 6:03 PM henryjz – with peers: looking for belonging and acceptance
- 6:05 PM henryjz – with adults: looking for expert voice and acceptance
- 6:06 PM henryjz – PRACTICAL TIPS:
What does this mean for our churches, families, and ministries?
- 6:10 PM henryjz – 2nd point MEDIATE
- 6:10 PM henryjz – QUESTION: What does mediating for someone mean? How can we mediate for early adolescents?
- 6:11 PM henryjz – KEY #1: Mediate Socially with friends
- 6:11 PM henryjz – deal with petty fights, one-ups and cyber bullies
- 6:11 PM henryjz – sometimes it’s educating one-on-one
- 6:12 PM henryjz – sometimes helping them negotiate between two people
- 6:12 PM henryjz – sometimes we just let it go
- 6:15 PM henryjz – KEY #2: Standing in the Gap with parents
- 6:15 PM henryjz – don’t we, as parents, like to know that there is another adult in our kids’ lives
- 6:15 PM henryjz – Same Team – Same Goal
- 6:16 PM henryjz – we NEED the parents, so we need to be on their side and support them when we can
- 6:17 PM henryjz – KEY #3: Cheer them on in the church
- 6:17 PM henryjz – believe in them AND voice it
- 6:18 PM henryjz – help to educate the other adults about what this age group needs
- 6:18 PM henryjz – PRACTICAL TIPS:
Develop consistency in their lives
Model – Model – Model
- 6:21 PM henryjz – reading a testimony of someone who was affected by her small group leader
- 6:22 PM henryjz – Last Point: Advocate
- 6:22 PM henryjz – QUESTION: How do you feel advocated for in your life? Who is the biggest advocate in your life? How do you know they are advocating for you?
- 6:25 PM henryjz – KEY #1: Hope
Positively without losing a sense of realism
Often needing hope because most major life decisions/circumstances are out of their control
- 6:26 PM henryjz – “It’s OK that you don’t have hope. I’ll be the hope for you.”
- 6:27 PM henryjz – Advocate = Cheerleader
- 6:28 PM henryjz – KEY #2: Purpose
Equip them for the future
- 6:28 PM henryjz – we need to know these kids well enough to find out their uniqueness
- 6:31 PM henryjz – KEY #3: Vision for the present and future
Dream, Dream, Dream!
- 6:31 PM henryjz – let’s not squash their dreams
- 6:32 PM henryjz – back to the video of the teacher (Quinn) and his students
- 6:32 PM henryjz – his #3 point – they can… they can do a lot of things
- 6:33 PM henryjz – #4 – they will… they will be our future
- 6:36 PM henryjz – Ahhh, Quinn is Jackie’s brother 🙂
- 6:36 PM henryjz – PRACTICAL TIPS:
Be encouraged that your relationship makes a difference in their lives – even if they never tell you!
- 6:40 PM henryjz – Sometimes we get glimpses of the effect we have in the lives of these kids… when you do, hang on to those glimpses
- 6:40 PM henryjz – closing in prayer
- 6:40 PM henryjz – off to lunch!