I’ve been in children’s ministry for 17 years, 8 of those most recent years as a full time children’s pastor at two different churches in two different countries.
When I first started out in CM, it was all about the kids. I remember being a large group communicator when I was 15 for a group of 200+ kids at the church I was at. My focus was the children and teaching them about who God was, how much God loved them, how God wanted them to live and how they could change the world around them. At 17, I was put in charge of the preschool version of kids church… 80 preschoolers! fun! Again, it was all about the kids. While in college, I was in charge of the elementary Kid’s Church at the church I was at… again, all about the kids. It continued to be all about the kids in the various churches I volunteered at and even when I first came on staff as a children’s pastor.
I read articles, go to workshops and conferences, and talk with many other people in children’s ministry. Most everything is all about the kids. Even when we talk about parents and volunteers… it’s always in relation to the kids.
What is wrong with children’s ministry being just about the kids? Isn’t that why it’s called children’s ministry? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?
Children’s ministry does have a target… a focus… and that is children. Children’s ministry exists so that there are people championing children withing the church and making sure children are a part of the spiritual community: learning, growing, and participating. Children’s ministry wouldn’t exist without children. I guess you could say that ministering to children is what fuels children’s ministry.
But ministering to children isn’t the support structure… framework… skeleton… that children’s ministry is built on.
Which brings me to lichen… I’m obsessed with lichen. Ever since learning about it in my biology class at university, I’ve always pointed it out on hikes and walks and wherever I see it. My wife just rolls her eyes and placates me by listening to my explanation of what lichen is (she’s a great wife). My friends think I’m weird about it. And my kids… well, they are young enough to still think I’m cool and all-knowing. Lichen is actually two organisms that live together in a symbiotic relationship. The two organisms mutually help each other without harming the other. It is made of a fungus and algae. The fungus provides the skeleton for lichen and the algae lives on the fungus and makes food via photosynthesis for both the fungus and itself. A perfect relationship. Lichen exists only because both the fungus and the algae exist.
What does that have to do with children’s ministry? There are two components to children’s ministry, and those two components must benefit each other. We know that ministry to children is one of those components. The other component is ministry to adults. Now, I’m not talking about volunteer training or even leadership training. I’m talking about spiritual development of adults for the sake of them growing as an image-bearer of God regardless of whether they are in children’s ministry or not.
I think too many times ministry to children becomes a parasite on the lives of the volunteers who work in our children’s ministries as well as on the lives of the parents of the children who are in our ministries. We spend so much time focusing on the children and making CM all about the kids that our volunteers and parents get sucked dry.
As leaders in children’s ministries, we need to be ministering to the adults who intersect with children’s ministry. It’s not just up to the senior pastor or adult ministries leader. We need to be pouring into them so they can grow and mature spiritually. It can’t just be all about the kids and how they can improve in how they do children’s ministry. Yes, they need training… but they also need spiritual growth.
If we can learn how to minister to adults effectively, then we will have a stronger structure, foundation, skeleton to build the ministry of children onto and have a healthier and thriving children’s ministry.
What does this look like? It can be as simple as “checking in” with your volunteers about their journey with God and encouraging and praying with them. Why not have a spiritual growth theme for your volunteers for the year? Set up adult small groups for those involved in children’s ministry. Provide free copies of sermon messages that your volunteers miss. Making yourself available to pray with parents and volunteers.
Do the adults in your ministry see you as one of their pastors?