#OrangeTour comes to the San Francisco Bay Area!!!

I’m excited to be at the Orange Tour at Westgate Church in San Jose, CA.

I thought these name tags with your Twitter handle were great!

Reggie opened up with a great challenge to meet the changes of culture in a positive light. I love this emphasis by Reggie and the ReThink group. He challenged all of us to think about how we are trying to reach the 75% of the people who will never enter the church. I can go on about my ideas of the theological and sociological ideals that have led to the church focusing on just the 25% who are already here, but that would take too long and many of you would nod off. In short, I agree with Reggie that we have lost sight of one of our imperatives to go outside of ourselves and respectfully engage those who don’t believe what we believe.

If you haven’t attended anything Orange, and you are in any type of ministry that engages families, what are you waiting for? Check out one of the Tour stops or go to the Orange Conference!

Orange 12: 5th and 6th Grade Transitions

This past August, I became the 4th/5th Grade Director at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church. Prior to that I had overseen everything in children’s ministry at my previous churches. It was an amazing thing to be able to spend time on a more focused age span. One of the biggest things that sprang up working with the 4th and 5th grade was how to transition kids from 5th grade (children’s ministry) to 6th grade (middle school ministry). If we don’t successfully hand off the kids and their parents, we run the inevitability of losing those kids in a few short months.

I was excited to sit in on Dan Scott’s breakout on transitions for 5th and 6th grades. Dan shared about the demographics, sociology, and development of pre-teen kids. It was great because there is a lot of misinformation and missed information regarding the tween age group. We make assumptions of these kids based on our memories of when we were their age. We can’t do that! Today’s tweens grew up and developed in a world that is galaxies apart from the world we were a part of when we were their age.

Click on the link below to download the notes from Dan’s breakout.

5th-6th Grade Transitions

Orange 12: Jon Acuff

Reggie: Why do you think social media is important?

Jon: If you care about people then it matters. The church is behind.

Reggie: What can we do to catch up?

Jon: Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.” Go where your community is. You don’t have to be everywhere in social media. Just go where your people are. Don’t establish an “online personality.” Be one person. Then ask, “What kinds of problems can you solve?”

Hope is infectious. Hope goes viral.

Reggie: How did social media change your life?

Jon: started StuffChristiansLike.com as a way to critique Christians copying stuff (ripping stuff off). It became something like the mustard seed. You don’t need to know where it’s going. God knows.

Reggie: How do you lean into leaders to stop beating each other online.

Jon: I wish Christian hate mail was an oxymoron. When we wound other Christians online, you lose ability to speak love and hope later.

Rejecting social media is like saying, “I don’t like hills, so I won’t go hear Jesus speak.”

Fear fears community.

Orange 12: Andy Stanley

Andy Stanley shared about the one thing that drives healthy staff culture.

Mark 10:34-45

BE A SERVANT

Healthy and productive staff cultures are characterized by mutual submission.

The purpose of the leader is to lift everyone else up.

Everyone is essential in an organization. There are no non-essential people.

The question mutual submission asks: “How can I help you?”

The problem: A view of the “Old Testament” priest of someone with a “special” anointing. It’s just not true! We all are anointed. Until everyone understands that, you won’t have a staff culture of mutual submission.

If you are anointed then you should be the best server.

1. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. Don’t buy into the myth that you have to do it for everyone. Do not be fair. Be engaged!

2. Systematize top-down service.

3. Create and maintain a sustainable pace. If not, ministry becomes ME-nistry.

4. Celebrate and reward mutual submission when you see it. What’s rewarded is repeated. What’s punished is avoided. What’s neither rewarded or punished gets neglected.

5. Confront your ego. If you have a big ego, then let your staff know.

6. Drop the term loyalty from your vocabulary. It didn’t make it into the fruit of the spirit. If you need to demand loyalty, you’ve got a loyalty issues.

Where to start: How can I help?

‘Tis the Season to Be Orange!

Orange kicked off on Wednesday night with a bang! The evening began with a challenge on stage of who at church was famous. What followed was a series of great parodies!

Ever wondered what it would be like if Steve Tyler of Aerosmith worked in the church nursery?

How about Lionel Ritchie as a greeter?

One of my personal favorites… Emminem as a Middle School Pastor

Adele as a Children’s Pastor was priceless.

Not to be outdone, Lanny Donoho shared his rendition of The Righteous Brothers as Senior Pastors

We, then, were treated to Bonnie Tyler as a church parking attendant

Finally, here’s what it might look like if Bon Jovi were a church volunteer

Orange 12: My GameChanging Story

(picture originally uploaded to Flickr by I, Timmy)

Reggie probably doesn’t remember this, but 10 years ago my wife and I had lunch with him at a conference put on by Kidz Blitz called Fresh Air. I was in my second year as a full time children’s pastor. That conference was the first time I heard Reggie share his passion for what it might look like to actively partner with parents. Reggie asked me tough questions about ministry, my church, and my calling. He challenged me to not settle for the easy answer or the status quo. That was a gamechanger for me. I remember going back to my room with my wife that night and bawling because his challenge awakened boxed up dreams and desires to help families become fully devoted to Christ and his Kingdom mission in this world. That moment shaped my approach to all that I’ve done. 

Ever since then, I’ve had the deepest respect for Reggie. Over the past 10 years I’ve seen him continually grow and learn and practice the advice he gave me: not to settle for the easy answer or the status quo.

At the opening session of Orange 12, Reggie did it again! He didn’t back away from what he knew needed to be shared. He challenged each of us to admit to the messiness of the Gospel and live in the tension of that mess. (I’ll blog more about that in another post.)

Thank you, Reggie, for unknowingly being a mentor and gamechanger from afar.

There’s one more day of the Orange Conference left. It’s my hope to gather some other Gamechanger stories from people here and share them with you.

Have you had a gamechanger moment in your life? What was it? How did it change you?

GIVEAWAY FOR BLOGGER WEEK FEBRUARY 4-8, 2013!!! I am giving away a free registration for Orange 13! (This is just for your ticket to Orange. You’ll have to still come up with a way to get there and you hotel stay.) You have three ways to enter:

• Leave a comment with your gamechanging story;
• Share this post on your Facebook wall (be sure to tag me so I know); or
• Tweet about this post (be sure to include @henryjz in your tweet so I know)

All entries must be done by 11:59 p.m. (PST) on February 8, 2013. I will randomly choose a winner.

Check out the other Orange Blogger Week bloggers!

Getting My Blog On at Orange 12!!

In just a few short days, I’ll be boarding a jet plane heading for Atlanta! It’s Orange Conference time!

For the past few months, I’ve been pretty quiet here on the blog. With being a husband and dad, going to school and working part time at the church, I haven’t had time for any non-essential writing or projects. For three or so days beginning on April 25, though, I’ll be dusting off the WordPress dashboard and working the keyboard to blog about the Orange Conference. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m joining a group of other bloggers who’ll be sharing about our experiences at Orange. The other exciting thing is that I will be at Orange with the entire MPPC children’s ministry team as well as a couple of people from out Open Door Church campus in Mountain View. I can’t wait!

I’ve had the privilege to blog at different conferences and have blogged different ways. I’ve done live blogging, blogged my notes, interviewed people, etc. I’m taking a cue from my good friend (and fellow Orange blogger) Amy Dolan and putting this question to you. What would you like me to blog about while I’m at Orange? What would be the greatest blessing to you… especially those of you who aren’t able to be there? Leave a comment and let me know!

Book Review: The Eric Trap by Jim Wideman, Sam Luce and Kenny Conley

Just what we needed, right? Another leadership book written by “successful” leaders who have no idea what I’m going through!

I know that’s what you’re probably thinking. It’s what I think every time another “leadership” book comes out. It’s the same old, same old: Witty saying here, anecdote there, Bible story taken out of context here, “my success story” there… [If cynicism towards leadership books were a spiritual gift, I think I'd top the charts.] So, armed with this finely tuned cynicism, tempered a bit because of my friendship with and respect for the authors, I embarked on my journey through The Eric Trap.

I was immediately taken off guard by the story of Eric. A gifted children’s pastor with a strong sense of calling to full-time church ministry, Eric finds himself in the same predicament I’ve heard echoed in my life and the lives of countless other children’s ministry leaders I’ve met over the past 15 years.

All Eric knew was life could not continue the way it was going. Something had to give.

Eric sat in the driveway for a few more minutes gathering the nerve to go inside. He’d told Rebecca he was going to be home in thirty minutes, which was two hours ago. This wasn’t going to be pretty, especially after the big fight they’d just had.

Eric opened the door and wiped his eyes. Under his breath he muttered, “This isn’t how I imagined any of this.” (Page 7)

What unfolds over the 146 pages of the book is a brutally honest unveiling of the struggles, thoughts, crises and confrontations that we’ve all had in one form or another as children’s ministry leaders–most of which we hope no one is privy to. Interspersed throughout Eric’s story is the insight, encouragement and advice from children’s ministry leaders who are in the midst of struggling through the same issues Eric is struggling through. None of the stuff in this book is new, but it is presented in a way that gets beyond the pretense that any of us (including the authors) have it all figured out and challenges us to…

Go beyond reading inspirational words and stories, and measure your life and ministry against the traps many in ministry fall into as did Eric.

Each section of the book ends with some practical and soul-searching questions to help the reader to internalize and examine the issues brought up in the book. The Eric Trap doesn’t just expose the leadership pitfalls we are victim to and need to avoid or climb out of. The Eric Trap challenges you to take practical steps to becoming a better, more balanced leader.

While Eric isn’t a real person, his journey is very real and reflects that of every children’s minister I’ve known… including my own. I highly recommend The Eric Trap… not just for those leading children’s ministries but for leaders to take their teams through. What better way to open up those honest conversations that need to happen for all of us to not just become better leaders but better people.

I was given an advance copy of The Eric Trap for the purposes of giving it an honest review, but you can get your very own copy beginning on April 25th at The Orange Conference and at Amazon soon after. You can also pre-order the book for a huge discount over at Jim Wideman’s site! In the meantime, you can check out the book’s website at TheEricTrap.com.

Book Review: The Toddler’s Bible by V. Gilbert Beers

Recently, I was provided a copy of The Toddler’s Bible by V. Gilbert Beers from David C. Cook to review. When I received the book, I couldn’t imagine that it would be any different than the countless other Bibles out there made for toddlers and preschoolers. There are four different ones on my kids’ shelf!

Upon opening The Toddler’s Bible, I was pleasantly surprised at the number of Bible stories that are featured. Most kids’ Bibles for young children I’ve read (and own) have a small number of stories in them; this one has over 100 of them! The stories are brief and interactive with well-done illustrations. One of my favorite features of The Toddler’s Bible is at the very beginning of the book. There is a page with suggestions on how to engage your toddler with the stories! The only challenge I had with The Toddler’s Bible was the size. I kept wishing that the book was larger with bigger pages and bigger pictures.

I would highly recommend The Toddler’s Bible for families with very young children. There are plenty of Bible stories highlighted in it, and the length is perfect for toddlers! You can pick up a copy of the Toddlers Bible from ChristianBook.com, Amazon.com or wherever else you purchase books. You can take a look at a trailer for the book by clicking on the picture below.

Where Are You Gonna Go?

I have found in many family ministry conversations I’ve been in, there is always this ideal of what a family should look like that gets touted out. Laments about the state of the family and the lack of parents taking their role as spiritual teacher immediately follow. Discussions like these always have ended up with someone elevating a certain family in his or her church to demagoguery status because that family is what all other families in the church should aspire to be.

In her book entitled The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap, Stephanie Coontz challenges the notion of an historical traditional family. “Myths that create unrealistic expectations about what families can or should do tend to erode solidarities and diminish confidence in the problem-solving abilities of those whose families ‘fall short.’” I can’t agree more! Even my confidence starts to wane when I compare my family to “perfect family,” and I’m supposed to be the professional with all the answers!

One huge reason I maintain respect for the ReThink Group and believe that Orange is a conference worth investing in is the belief by Reggie and the rest of the Orange crew that there is no such thing as an ideal family. Families come in all flavors and conditions. I remember watching Reggie speak a few years ago at the opening session of an Orange Conference. He held up a picture frame holding the picture of a “perfect” family and bluntly stated that no such families exist and never have. He, then, proceeded to show pictures of real families–families that don’t fit into our neat and tidy boxes entitled “traditional family.” He emphasized the need for a strategy that helps all of these families grow closer to God that includes both the home and the church.

Where are you gonna go? Where are you gonna go to be inspired to expand what it means to minister to all families? Where are you gonna go to connect with other ministry leaders who are trying to figure out this family ministry thing? Where are you gonna go to get what you need to put together a strategy for your church to reach families in your community?

I’m going to the Orange Conference. I’d love to meet you there. The conference is April 25-27.  If you register before February 16, you’ll save $40 on the registration.